Everyday I stay up till 01:00AM; this is when websites reload. Tonight is the first time this online journal has achieved this feat… it has changed with the rest of them.

I wish my life would change at 01:00AM everyday. I’ve been doing the same things for way too long and I only know that things will become even more repetitive after school. Soon I will get to go into an environment where I do the exact same thing everyday for money <- I don’t like that fact. When will we ever get to just live?

I think I should downgrade from the common way of living and become a drifter. I think life would be more of an adventure if I went along and pretty much lived in a tent and traveled back and forth across the country. I know I would be lonely though; there are not many people I know who would want to live like this but I know of a couple who have. I just want to see a lot of things.

For the past few weeks I have just been trapped inside doing the same things and worrying about passing a class. I really hope I feel some relief after school is done. I’ve been feeling pretty depressed and helpless for a few months now. I still don’t have a job and I am on the brink of failing a class that is required for graduation, I feel like a loser. Am I failing at life too? I feel like I am since everything has been the same and it all keeps going downhill fast.

There are something that are still good in life though. I still have my family, I still have my friends, and I’ve still got a God. I just need to chill out and relax; this is something I have not done since summertime. I havn’t seen a lot of my friends in a long time either!

Well it is about an hour into this new day! I have still done nothing like the past few months I have been living here in Fort Wayne; though I doubt I would have done anything at home. I am pretty disappointed at what has been going on this semester: I never had a job interview, the economy is going to crap, and I might not graduate. I guess it isn’t bad that I don’t have a job since the economy is going to crap; I can’t lose a job that I don’t have. It sucks that people are going to run out of money but luckily I don’t have any money to lose but I do have loans to pay off. I wish I wasn’t in school right now so I wouldn’t have any loans to pay off; for some weird reason I see this as an opportunity to do whatever I would like to do but loans are going to hold be back from that dream. I don’t want to get caught up in work and money and debt. I guess it is my choice if I end up in debt though. No one has to buy all the things that they do, we should save more money.

Right now I just setup my webcam in the front window. Some kids have been throwing stuff at out apartment. On Halloween night some kids threw a pumpkin at our front wall and a week later they threw eggs at our door. I am going to set it to capture video whenever it notices a certain amount of movement. As an added bonus I can also zoom in and see in the neighbors living room window.

I really hope things start to look up my brain has been under a lot of stress and I am getting tired of sitting around. I feel like I am going crazy. I am always inside ever since I gave the tall bike back… I hope I have another one soon )’=

All weekend I have been working on my old laptop. I decided it has been sitting around for too long. I have been installing Gentoo Linux on it and some apps. Right now I am stuck on getting Direct Rendering to work on my Radeon Mobility X700 and the wireless is giving me problems. http://linamosux.blogspot.com is my old linux blog. I am very bored right now and I don’t feel like writing right now; so I am going to stop…

… I never got Direct Rendering to work but I did get the wireless to work. The overall system seems stable; so now I just need to make it practical.

Right now I am drunk and I cannot think straight. I only have one class I NEED to pass to get my B.S. and I am failing it. As soon as I saw the bad grade I downed about 8oz of rum and 3 strong beers. I studied for this exam for 2 days and I am failing. I heard people say it is too late now. It is kind of sad to think of it like that… Wes Montgomery plays “Too Late Now” so beautifully. I don’t know what to do in order to pass the class. I study and that does me no good… I don’t study and I get the same bad grade. Why do I fail so easily? I only do bad in Fontaine classes. This alcohol helps not at all. I am ready for bed. I can only think about how much I suck right now.

I am about ready to start studying. I just woke up from a four hour nap. I wish I was still asleep or that I was dreaming right now. I hate exams and I am glad this is my last semester for the rest of my life! I ordered a large pizza and scarfed it down… I hope this doesn’t make me tired until I get one chapter down. Right now I am filling up on green tea, hoping that it will keep me alive for the long journey. I am going to do this like back in my freshman days, after I study a chapter I am going to take an hour long nap. I seemed to do better on hard exams back then compared to now. Things used to stick in my brain better… it was young, fresh, and healthy. I have been kind of slacking though. I guess that is what always happens when you near the end. I better start this now though or I know I wont… a jazz song called “The Sidewinder” just came on to maybe because I need to veer away from this and start studying… DISTRACTION: Freeloaders Guide to Easy Living

Well to start this weekend off I went home and did some laundry. After all that was finished I went and dropped off the tall bike at Pat’s house. He thought the bike was pretty cool and showed me were the frames were that he didn’t care about. He had all sorts of different ones to choose from. I only grabbed three frames though because he wants to try and design his own weird bicycles. Some weekend when he is free he is going to come over with Chris, Matt and I to work on his!

Once I got to Matt’s place we began stripping the bikes down to just the frames. We thought about different ideas for Matt’s bike. He decided he would flip the frame upside down and use a pipe to make his seat taller. He used another pipe to extent is steering column and put a steering wheel on it. The bike rides really funny but once he masters it he will look pretty funny.

My triple high tall bike is going to take a little more time. Chris and I decided we would spend a bit more time on it to make it really nice once spring rolls around. We plan on making it so all the accessories and hardware on this bike will be able to come off, be greased, and replaced easily. I will be going back to the shop the day before Thanks Giving to finish mine up. Chris works at a machine shop and is going to make some special parts for it in the mean time.

Today I might be meeting up with Joel and Josh. They are going to be hanging out at Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the UFC fight. I will probably end up out there since I have not seen Joel in a long time. They are going out to the one on the north side of town. This sucks for me since I live on the south end. About a mile down the road from me is one of the other Buffalo Wild Wings; I wish they were going to that one.

I woke up today and check out the weather @ http://radar.weather.gov/Conus/full_loop.php. The skies were clear and this meant I would get to take the tall bike out for one last ride. Yes, I did say one last ride. The other day I got an email from the guy who said he had bike frames I could pick up. Well come to find out I grabbed the wrong ones! I had grabbed the bicycles that his wife and him rode across America on. He wasn’t mad thankful but he said the bicycles have sentimental value to him and he would like the tall bike. I am not upset about giving it away. The tall bike only took 2 hours to make and it was free. He also said that since I grabbed bicycles from the wrong pile that I can still grab some from the other pile!

Well I guess today wasn’t all good but the bad parts of it were actually fun and released a ton of tension I have been building up for a long time. While I was riding down Jefferson to school today a lot of people were yelling at me to get off the road. At one stop light I was standing there and a guy in a truck rolled down his window and started yelling and swearing at me. He was telling me I should keep off the road and that they were made for cars and whatnot. I looked him in the eyes and started yelling and swearing at him as loud as I could. I know it was loud because there was a lady in a minivan that was full of kids. I looked back and saw her shaking her head. It was kind of an awkward moment since her kids were excited to see a strange bicycle. As they rolled past me I waved and said “Sorry!”. Once I got on my favorite roads everyone was nice again thankfully; I though it was going to be like this all day.

School was incredibly easy and fulfilling today! I did some homework and did it well. All my classes rolled by smoothly and NO homework for the weekend! I am really excited about this weekend! I have no responsibilities till Monday and I am building an even taller bicycle!

I saw this photo online and I think it is an omen. The guy looks just like me and he is on a tall bike! I decided I would use the same engineering on the bike that will be built this weekend because of him looking like me. I really can’t wait to have a whole new riding experience and hopefully it will be just as good as this one has been!

… today I am full of it. I don’t know why either. I know I will be full of joy later. Right now I can only think about a few things:

I hate Fontaine classes
I don’t have a job
I don’t have any money
I have to drive to school right now

I’m just tired of being stuck in this mucky time. I just want to have a semi-permanent job and use the rest of my time how I please. Right now I just kind of do a lot of nothing… I need to do something.

Well I better hop in my car and head to school and try and get a good grade. I hope this pays off in the long run. I am tired of professor who think I just have one class and no life. I’m tired of thinking about these classes.

When I woke up this morning I noticed my room was cooler than normal. Since my room was cold meaning it was most likely cooler outside, I decided to make hot tea to take with me to school. I had one problem though… I do not own any containers that can hold hot liquid for any long period of time. First I tried to put hot water in a typical plastic water bottle; that did not work seeing as how it started to melt in my hand.

I looked around my areas for a few minutes seeing what might work and I saw an empty rum bottle. The bottle that was empty was a glass bottle from this summer, it was 10 Cane Rum. As I was filling it up with hot water my hand was starting to get burned from the heat dispersing from the glass. I went upstairs to grab a pair of clean socks.

I put the clean socks on the bottle like a jacket. This solved the problem of me scolding my hand and keeping the liquid insulated.

I had filled the bottle an hour before I had to go to class. When I got to school the liquid was still hot. When I was walking to my class some people were looking at me strange because I had on a hippy type of jacket and was carrying the liquor bottle covered with a sock.

When I got into the classroom Professor Malloris was in the room and I decided to start drinking out of it to see what he would say. He asked me what was in it and I let him know it was only hot tea. During the class when I opened it the bottle made a pop sound every time since it has a cork cap. Everyone was wondering what was in the bottle. The tea stayed hot for about 2 hours then stayed warm for another hour. If you ever need a way to keep your drinks warm and have no money this is the way to go.