Tellus: This planet has glowing bacteria called humans. The network of lights happens as they spread across land and water, breeding, and taking over every inhabitable chunk of land. While others are left in the dark spots of the globe or just do not shine as bright… They are better off and capable of living as a community rather than a super network. Life may be easier in a bright spot of the planet but can be overburdened with technologies. Doesn’t human life just consist of food, water, shelter, family and community? Do we really need to have so many people living together? I guess, I’m just wishing I could live back in the day.(http://visibleearth.nasa.gov)

So a month ago I had a suspicion that you can strengthen your iris. I noticed how some irises look like cracked glass while others look meaty. When I first started working out my iris it looked like cracked glass. After a month of daily exercise it is starting to look meaty.

While I was looking at photos of irises I was also studying the irises of animals. I saw how birds have meaty well exercised irises while human irises look weak. If we ever talk face-to-face and you see that I am looking at something; I am just observing your eyes. Since I have found this out I like to watch eyes.

When I first started exercising my irises I could see that I was damaging them. Holes had begun to form and my iris went from looking like broken glass to sludge. It was annoying at first because light would shine through the holes. I thought I was going to make myself blind. I didn’t really care if I would lose my vision. My eyes are terrible already and without them I am blind.

After finding out about the iris I started wondering if I could adjust the other parts of my vision; like my astigmatism. I knew that if I could somehow change the shape of my eye by squeezing the sides or top and bottom that I could get rid of it. For about a week I have been exercising the muscles that hold the eye in place. I take my glasses off and squint to see things perfectly then slowly go back to bad vision. I think doing this is helping to strengthen the muscles around the eyes. After I squint and relax for a few minutes to stretch the muscles I then hold the perfect vision for a few minutes and relax again. After a couple days of exercise when I put my glasses back on I had my astigmatism when I put my glasses back on. The first couple days after I was done working out the muscles my eyes were becoming tired and a nap was in order after the workout. So any further strain would not cause any damage. Not only were my eyes getting a workout but so was my brain. After the first day of working out my eye by the end of work I had a headache in the backside of my brain (this is where vision is controlled) and I had visuals of rainbow zigzaggy lines all around like water running slowly out of a faucet. It was hard to focus on the words on my monitor and eventually I couldn’t focus on things that close to me at all. Once I was outside my vision was normal because I could focus on the horizon.

I am near sighted and my final step to seeing 100% if only for a minute or two at a time is to find out how to squish in the back of my eye to bring the lens closer to the optic nerve. I have done this once before and it was through an intense amount of smiling by being purely joyful.

Now what would make me do all of this? I have been going through a depressing time and one day I was looking in the mirror just for the fun of it; to look around my face and inspect it in detail. I am the kind of person who likes to observe and see how things work. I was raised to “figure out everything”; so when I am bored I learn how things work and watch things. Figuring out patterns has always been my favorite activity. Well anyway, I had observed and found out how everything on my desk works by tearing them apart, looking at the things in detail, and reading about them if I couldn’t figure it out on my own. So I started thinking about when to look at next and what could I figure out. I looked all over my room under my desk, sofa, and bed and there was nothing. I had to use the restroom and when I was done I looked in the mirror. I took off my glasses and I couldn’t see anything; so I moved in closer. I looked into my eye and was looking at the patterns in it but I was having a hard time seeing what the iris was. I went back into my bedroom and grabbed a platter from a hard disk drive. This is the only thing I have that has a near perfect reflective surface and it was a sunny day so I would have proper lighting and a good tool for inspection. I also have my near sightedness; when I have my glasses off I can see things in high detail if they are close to my face. When I started to observe my eye I noticed that there was a lot more than a pattern and color to the eye but there is also muscle and mine looked dead. My iris looked stiff, brittle, and unhealthy. As I continued to look I felt my vision zooming in. I looked around and noticed that my pupil was dilating. I looked around my room and brought my vision back to normal. I looked into the platter again and watched my iris contract and my vision zoomed in as I held focus. I saw small strands of tissue around the pupil these must have been the muscles that allow the iris to contract and expand. I noticed that my eyelids always keep a shadow over my pupil keeping direct light out of my vision. I messed around with my eye a little longer and realized I was damaging the iris. Small holes had started to form and light was going in them. I started to panic for a while but realized I needed to relax and cover my eyes.

After I had done all of this and feeling like I was going to lose the vision in my left eye. I felt good. I had never felt that kind of connection with my body before or if I did it was in a different stage of life that I cannot remember (maybe when I was a baby or child). It was a good reminder that this body is mine and that I not only live in it but I control it and it is part of me. For the longest time I have treated this body like a vehicle. I keep it clean, I make sure it is running good, and I keep it fueled with food high in vitamins and try to keep junk out of it. Since that day I discovered my iris, I have noticed some other quirks about myself: I don’t smile often (at least when I am alone which is most of my time) and I have bad posture. Vocalizing isn’t a strong point either but that was obvious to me since my teens. Now that I am aware of some things that need to be fixed for better health; I am now working on them.

So, for the longest time I have been treating this body as a vehicle. Something you hop in and it takes you places but the problem is you are stuck in it. So for the longest time I have just been driving and not really living; I have been missing out on the experience of life. Sure I have good times and bad times; I have done good things and bad things… but my view of everything for years has been a disconnected one.

One of my favorite hobbies other than observing things is to just drive and go places for no reason at all but just to keep moving and seeing things. Since it isn’t summer I can’t do my other hobby of riding my bike but now that I realized my strange connection with my body I can now enjoy it too.

(social networks, forums, irc, etc.)

These things make life seem almost on a supernatural (god) type of level for introverts.

People spew their guts and personal information; while the introverts (deities) sit back and read.

Only to intervene every once in a while; giving insight.

Someday some idiots are going to see these messages hundreds - thousands of years later, when all current

religions are gone, to make gods and angels out of those people.

The world will have the bibles of “Facebook”, “Myspace”, “Google”, “Twitter; which one will prevail?

moot will be the pagan god of 4chan.

google will be a god in itself with only a few knowing the true creators

(to be edited at a later time… working sucks)

When it snows it is one of the only times that everything “man made” (roads, houses, cars, etc) can become covered by something natural. The invisibility of these things is the only time we can really see our part of the planet in some kind of virgin state.

Last night, like every year before, it seems like I always have the pleasure of driving in the snow as it begins to fall. I was with my friend Shane and as soon as we saw the snow we were both hoping that it would keep falling. We stood around in the cold until  we saw the roads were covered in snow; then we hopped in my car and cruised around. We were the first ones to leave track on most of the roads we traveled and only saw a few other explorers. It always feels like an expedition during the first snow fall. Decisions must be made of where to go and were to look. Looking for what though? Nothing really. Just driving around enjoying the beauty of nature.

Today I realized how introverted I am once again. I was brushing my teeth like I do every time but every time I never look in the mirror and if I do I hurry up and finish. Well today I was looking and I have stains on my teeth. I never noticed until now and it is probably only because it got bad enough, lol. Well I guess it is time to face myself in the mirror and watch what I am doing more often. I really hope it doesn’t make me any less introverted though. Lately my brain has been firing like millions of bottle rockets flying every which way and landing on all of my may thoughts and imaginings (Tim, Dave, and Jon only know). I only think it is because of always being introverted but when I become really secluded from people my brain starts imagining many things in a comparative way and looking at it symmetrically pointing out the similarities and differences. I feel like i have something to discover in this world maybe of no importance to most if any people but things I want to know for myself. I still find this teeth problem a little funny since I exercise daily and watch what I eat. I guess wIll have to smile more.

So this summer I also had the youngest of my sisters out for a couple nights. I had to work and we were going to go see the new Harry Potter but I got held up at work and by the time I got out the movie had already started (it was late) so my sister and I walked around Fort Wayne till 02:00AM and snapped some photos around town. As we drove through town looking for interesting things and a place to park I saw there was an ambulance, two cop cars, and a fire truck at The Brass Rail. A couple weeks prior there was a pretty good fight there: stabbings and a guy had his ear chewed off. I felt weiry of taking her there but I did anyway. I didn’t take my sister into the bar since she IS underage. I wanted to show her the bicycles that are always parked up front.  I felt weird having my camera there too since I didn’t know what the incident was. Turns out someone just got trashed and fell off a balcony. While we were out infront of the bar I saw a bunch of guys I know from riding critiical mass and hanging out at Cardinal Tattoo. I told my sister that although this is the largest town in our area it’s still a small town and you are always bound to bump into someone you know or have met. We continued through town and walked down the middle of the streets. It’s nice that this town is a little big town too just because after 01:00AM you will see few cars that are not cops but that isn’t always a good thing. While we were walking the downtown Calhoun area we saw a dumpster that had been lit on fire. A few guys were there watching it burn too. They called in a firetruck and it was there within a couple minutes. We strolled around for a little longer and hear voices yelling at us to come up the parking garage. It was my buddies I saw out at the Rail earlier. They were enjoying the nice cool and calm night with a few beers. My sister and I snapped a few photos chatted a bit and headed home. I think it would be nice if I would take the time to spend it with my family more often. Because that night was definietly a fun time showing my sister around.

I know it has been an even longer while since I have typed or updated anything. Summer has been nuts but mainly just too much fun. Seems like it has gone so fast already. I just know I can’t wait for the cool fresh Fall air to hit. Fall and Spring are the best =D